The New York City subway is arguably home to the highest concentration of annoying people in the world. They are intolerable, insane and inescapable. When you flee from one, another emerges. There’s one in every car. Or two. Or three. OK, everyone is annoying when you’re on the subway. But here’s a few that take the cake:
- The Over-the-shoulder Onlooker: Subway reading material is not hard to come by. Simply grab an amNewYork or Metro as you make your descent. With this level of convenience, I can’t understand the need to read over other people’s shoulders. Heck, even the New York Times is casing my covers. Whether the subject matter is from a text or a textbook, no one likes you craning your neck for sloppy-second sentences. Reading is a one-person activity. Get your own words.
- The Performer: I’m pretty lenient when it comes to subway iPod listening. I respect my neighbor’s right to blare his or her jams so high they might as well be at a KISS concert. What I do mind is when people sing along to their tunes out loud, especially when they clap along to the beat. I don’t care if you’re Justin Timberlake himself. This is a subway car, not American Idol, and the last thing I want to do at 8 a.m. is listen to you clap your hands to a beat I can’t hear.
- The Cell Phone Squawker: Lack of cell
service underground usually makes it easy to avoid listening to a fellow rider’s entire one-sided phone conversation. But what happens when you’re above ground and the woman next to you chooses that moment to discuss her ex-boyfriends anger management problems with her dad at full volume? Hold the phone—it gets worse. The MTAhas plans to offer cell phone service in the entire subway system by 2014. My only advice is to block out these rude riders by turning up the volume on your iPod. But remember, Katy Perry sings “Teenage Dream.” Let’s keep it that way.