Since moving into the tiny hole in Brooklyn someone had the nerve to call a 3-bedroom apartment one year ago today, I have been subjected to some horrifying “roommates”—a mouse we not-so-lovingly nicknamed Gus, six cockroaches and another mouse known simply as “Ninja Mouse” for his uncanny ability to lick the peanut butter off our well-laid traps and escape unharmed.
A few other lovely features of my apartment include sink water that trickles out at a rate of 10 drops per minute and shower water that takes the length of an actual shower to heat up. Add to the equation the man who makes it all possible—my landlord George, a native New Yorker with a bad attitude, no inside voice and an exterminator who apparently doesn’t know how to exterminate.
Up until now I have been living in paranoid fear of roaches crawling across my face while I’m sleeping and cursing George as the worst landlord in town. But according to a list of the 155 Worst Landlords in the city released Monday by NYC Public Advocate Bill DeBlasio, I’ve got it easy.
Although DeBlasio dubbed Brooklyn the borough with the greatest concentration of the city’s most dangerous and dilapidated buildings (96), it was five Queens landlords who topped the first-of-its-kind watch list.
The number one slot went to Diana Alleyne, who had a record 97 violations. Complaints from one of Allyene’s tenants include “festering garbage, faulty boilers and vermin.” I think I’ll stay in Brooklyn, count my blessings (and cockroaches) and maybe even leave Ninja Mouse a little extra Skippy tonight.